Three tips for dating after divorce in midlife

If this is your first Christmas alone, you might be asking yourself: Does divorce in the holidays ever get easier? Will it feel like this every year? The holidays are a painful time following a divorce but you will soon discover that you are more resilient than you ever knew. Letting go of old traditions paves the way to create new traditions and you will eventually find joy again in the holidays. This is how I found mine.

Maybe you have been there… you believe you have failed at life, you don’t like your body, your clothes and feel that you have little self-expression in your own style. You feel frozen in time with little sense of how to move forward. The dissolution of your marriage may have happened slowly with a gradual loss of your true self and your identity to please your spouse. Your self-esteem has never been lower. Reminds me of the song by Winona Judd, “Rockbottom is just a place to turn around.” Now that you are single, it’s time to get back your mojo. And build a life that excites you to get up to everyday. How do you do that? Read on, McDuff!

If your marriage was rocky prior to COVID-19 you are likely struggling to survive the conflict, with loneliness that comes from living with someone you do not connect with, while worrying that this will never end. This generation has never had a situation this global and yet this restrictive. Spending 24hours a day together is stressful for a healthy relationship, but if you add job insecurity, health worries, caretaking when someone is ill, and little change of scenery for activities or other influences, it can be the death of a marriage.

Have you ever had one of those days where you struggle to keep your eyes open? Even while someone is talking to you or you are doing something that requires you to be alert? My sleep suffered greatly during my separation and divorce, a time when the nervous system is on alert.